Reel Reviews

Film Reviews by a Real Person, Not a Critic

An Assault on the Senses

I decided to put off today’s review when I found this little gem while Googling movie posters. I’ve been replacing the ginormous movie poster shots from my earlier reviews with smaller ones.

Back in November, I did a review on a shitfest called Death Race 2000. I mentioned how I was scarred for life from seeing David Carradine in nothing but a mask and tiny black briefs.

Well folks, you’re in for a treat. I actually found a screenshot of said scene. Mercifully, the picture quality isn’t very clear, so your eyeballs won’t be that badly damaged.

As for me, I watched this scene with a plasma TV.

I will never be the same again.

So, here it is folks. Click on the thumbnail…if you dare.

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February 1, 2006 Posted by | Miscellaneous, Specific Actors | 12 Comments

My Two Favorite Patrick Swazye Movies

Back in the mid 80’s and early 90’s, Patrick Swayze ruled as the dancing king of smoothness and romance. Women swooned over the sensitive yet manly characters he’s played, and drooled over his muscular, agile dancer’s body. Meanwhile, men admired him for his badassness in movies such as Next of Kin and Roadhouse. Ok, maybe men didn’t really care much for him since no one has ever seen Next of Kin and Roadhouse. Like Fred Astaire and John Travolta before him, Swayze was able to prove that big strong men can be sensitive too, and that men who dance aren’t gay. Let us look at the two best Patrick Swayze movies, because let’s face it- most of his movies really weren’t that great. No, I have not seen Donnie Darko so I can’t pass judgment on it.

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November 16, 2005 Posted by | Specific Actors | 6 Comments