Reel Reviews

Film Reviews by a Real Person, Not a Critic

The Black Hole

Title: The Black Hole
Year: 1979
Director: Gary Nelson
Starring Cast: Maximilian Schell, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvette Mimieux, Anthony Perkins, Ernest Borgnine; voices by Roddy McDowall and Slim Pickens
Rated: PG

Reel Reviews Rating:

The Black Hole was apparently Disney’s pathetic attempt to cash in on the Star Wars phenomenon. However, it comes nowhere near the quality of Lucas’s magnum opus.

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February 17, 2006 Posted by | Action, B movies, Sci-Fi | 6 Comments

Kaze no Tani no Naushika

Title: 風?谷?ナウシカ (Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind)
Year: 1984
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Voices: Sumi Shimamoto, Goro Naya, Yoshihiko Sakakibara, Ichiro Nagai (original Japanese version); Alison Lohman, Patrick Stewart, Uma Thurman, Edward James Olmos (American version)
Rated: PG

Reel Reviews Rating:

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February 8, 2006 Posted by | Action, Adventure, animation, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Miyazaki Films, Sci-Fi, Social Commentary | 2 Comments

Dark City

Title: Dark City
Year: 1998
Director: Alex Proyas
Starring Cast: Rufus Sewell, Keifer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly, William Hurt
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

Dark City is one of those well made, underrated science fiction films that now seems dated since the advent of The Matrix. A disenchanted viewer may look at this DVD and think, “Oh, great. Another sci-fi movie in which our reality as we know it may not be what it seems. Yawn. Been there, done that.” But the thing is that Dark City came out a year before Neo learned that there is no spoon. In fact, there are so many similarities between the famous Keanu Reeves movie and Dark City that I’m willing to bet that it was a major influence on the Wachowski brothers when they wrote their story about the Matrix.

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January 11, 2006 Posted by | Action, Film Noir, Mystery, Sci-Fi, Suspense | 6 Comments

The Island

Title: The Island
Year: 2005
Director: Michael Bay
Starring Cast: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Bean
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

Every time I hear the name of this movie I think of that one weird Simpsons episode where Homer creates a website and finds out information that lands him on a mysterious island (with tropical animals and pandas with harlequinn masks) that he can’t escape. From then on, every time I say the name of this movie, I have to say with a Lisa Simpson voice, “The Island”.

But I digress.

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December 31, 2005 Posted by | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi | 2 Comments

Brazil (Original Director’s Cut)

Title: Brazil
Year: 1985
Director: Terry Gilliam
Starring Cast: Jonathan Pryce, Robert DeNiro, Katherine Helmond, Michael Palin
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

Brazil is one of those movies that are often highly praised by movie critics (and armchair critics) because of how artistically it was filmed, because of its message, and so on.

I am not one of those critics.

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December 29, 2005 Posted by | Comedy, Satire, Sci-Fi, Social Commentary | 5 Comments

Blade: Trinity

Title: Blade: Trinity
Year: 2004
Director: David S. Goyer
Starring Cast: Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

Here’s the thing- I LOVE the first Blade movie. It’s so freaking awesome and badass. Wesley Snipes was so cool with that Brazilian kung-fu thing that he does when he’s killing vampires. Even Stephen Dorff was tolerable. Actually, I thought he was great in it. I especially like the scene where Blade is getting his ass handed to him and is crumpled to the floor, and Stephen Dorff’s character is like, “Look at you. You’re a little BITCH.” Man, that was funny.

(I haven’t seen Blade II.)

So when I heard that Blade: Trinity was featuring two other main characters I thought, “What the hell? Blade works alone!” Yeah I know, he has Whistler with him (played by Kris Kristofferson) but Whistler kind of remains in the background most of the time. And when I realized that one of these characters was be played by Jessica Biel, I thought, “Oh shit. Another one of those pretty actresses trying to jump on the asskicking female bandwagon.” Needless to say, I didn’t expect much from the movie. And I’m glad I didn’t.

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December 7, 2005 Posted by | Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi | Leave a comment

Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow

Title: Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow
Year: 2004
Director: Kerry Conran
Starring Cast: Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie
Rated: PG

Reel Reviews Rating:

The first thing I thought of when I first heard the title of this movie was, “What a load of cheese!? I mean, really- what the hell kind of title is Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow?

Now that I look back on it, this is remarkably the exact same thing I thought of when I heard that the title of Star Wars: Episode II was to be called Attack of the Clones. Attack of the Clones?!?! What- like, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?!?!?!

Anywho…

In spite of such a long-winded, corny title, I thought well, you have these A class actors in the film- Jude Law, Gwenyth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie. Big time people. Not to mention that I heard it looks great on a big screen TV. So I gave it a chance.

And got a plate full of queso.

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November 23, 2005 Posted by | Action, Sci-Fi | 2 Comments

Death Race 2000

Title: Death Race 2000
Year: 1975
Director: Paul Bartel
Starring Cast: David Carradine, Simone Griffith, Sylvester Stallone
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

In a word, this movie sucks.

It sucks beyond all levels of suckitude.

I am peeved that my bf made me watch this because this is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

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November 21, 2005 Posted by | Action, B movies, Sci-Fi | 7 Comments