Reel Reviews

Film Reviews by a Real Person, Not a Critic

The Black Hole

Title: The Black Hole
Year: 1979
Director: Gary Nelson
Starring Cast: Maximilian Schell, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvette Mimieux, Anthony Perkins, Ernest Borgnine; voices by Roddy McDowall and Slim Pickens
Rated: PG

Reel Reviews Rating:

The Black Hole was apparently Disney’s pathetic attempt to cash in on the Star Wars phenomenon. However, it comes nowhere near the quality of Lucas’s magnum opus.

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February 17, 2006 Posted by | Action, B movies, Sci-Fi | 6 Comments

Mitchell (Mystery Science Theater 3000 version)

Title: Mitchell
Year: 1975
Director: Andrew V. McLaglen
Starring Cast: Joe Don Baker, Martin Balsam, John Saxon
Rated: R

Title: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV show)
Year: 1988-1999
Starring Cast: Joel Hodgson, J. Elvis Weinstein, Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff

Reel Reviews Rating of just Mitchell:

Reel Reviews Rating of The MST3K version:

All right, before I begin, I have to say that on its own, Mitchell sucks ass. It’s so horrible and extremely painful to watch.

What you need to do is watch this with a guy and two robots who heckel the living hell out of this POS movie.

Friends, your wish has been granted.

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January 6, 2006 Posted by | Action, B movies, Comedy, Crime | 4 Comments

Death Race 2000

Title: Death Race 2000
Year: 1975
Director: Paul Bartel
Starring Cast: David Carradine, Simone Griffith, Sylvester Stallone
Rated: R

Reel Reviews Rating:

In a word, this movie sucks.

It sucks beyond all levels of suckitude.

I am peeved that my bf made me watch this because this is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

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November 21, 2005 Posted by | Action, B movies, Sci-Fi | 7 Comments